The not so Carrie Bradshaw.

I've always imagined I would be like Carrie Bradshaw. I would wake up early, blog about my life and then get ready to meet the girls for happy hour in Los Gatos. Let's be honest I wrote 1 blog in 2012, I just turned on an actual laptop for the first time in a year, I have flat hair, I wear Uggs and I have more than 3 friends. I'm no Carrie, and to be honest I'm ok with that because I'm still not over the whole Aidan thing. If you're a Sex in the city fan I'm sure you know where I am coming from. In 2013 I plan on being a little Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte.... with possibly a little Stanford.

One of my MANY new year resolutions is to blog more.... That and to see the ocean, and by ocean I mean One Direction.

So let me start off by catching you up on some holiday highlights.

First was Halloween. I had zero plans and had no intentions on going out until I was invited to my friend's dental school Halloween party. Funny part is my friend Matt was not the one who invited me, it was one of his dental friends. Nice try Matt. I decided the only way I will actually show up to this party is dress as him. It's the only thing that made sense. Let this be a lesson to you Matt, If you don't originally invite me somewhere I will come, and I will show up dressed as you!

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. We hosted our third annual Turkey cook off. I decided to enter this year, but sadly I did not do so well. I think it came out a little dry.

During the year there is so much to be thankful for and at this particular moment I was thankful for the view I had at the dinner table.  

Chief HiHowAreYa!

During the holidays I always try to not only look good, but also dress the part. Why do you think I always have themed birthdays?

                                      

Christmas time is always full of surprises and this year we got a little surprise during a birthday dinner one night. After traveling a long way from the north pole (SF) and after one too many sips of eggnog, Santa decided to stop by dinner. "SAAAAAAANNNNTTTTAAAAA I know him!!!" I always knew Santa Claus was coming to town, I just didn't know it was going to be at Benihana's. 

Happy New Year!

21 years old and a survivor

Today is my little brothers 21st birthday! Finally, he doesn't have to wait in the car while I'm inside the bar. Chris is 6 years younger than me which pretty much means I could have birthed him. Ever since he was born I've been very protective over him. We would go swimming over at my grandmother's community pool and we never had a set time to leave. We knew it was time to leave whenever Chris fell in the pool and almost drown. I can not tell you how many times I've had to jump in and save Chris. I've had to save him from the pool more times than our blind dog! There was one time in particular I remember very clearly. Chris was about 3 years old and had a dinosaur ring close to this one here:

He was standing by the deep end and decided to DIVE into the water. You would think it would be ok because of his floatation device, Nope. Chris ended up stuck upside down  in the water. All I saw above the water were two legs flailing about into the air. So I had to put down my capri sun and jump in and flip him back over. That was the last straw. I mean, I was 9 years old, I was busy with my own problems. So I decided to teach Chris how to Swim. 

Anyone that has seen Chris and I together knows we are very similar. It's an 'Anything you can do I can do better' competition. Sometimes we drive our mother nuts!

So I wanted to wish little Chrissy a very happy birthday and to many many more... Birthdays, not drowning accidents.

Happy Thursday!

My longest relationship

The year was 2002, I was just about to enter in my senior year of High school. I was going to rule the school. It was the first team dinner/meeting at fresh choice. This really cute mom comes up to me and says

"So Tiffany, I was looking at the team roaster sheet and I noticed that you live close to me. Do you think you can drive my daughter home after all the practices?"

"um maybe? whose your daughter?"

"That red head over there"

"well I don't know if i can..."

"I'll pay you"

"Perfect"

So that's how our friendship started, as a business. Week after week I would drive her home and each car ride was better than the one before. We would laugh at things that happened that day on team, sing our hearts out to angry Lincoln Park songs, danced, put on makeup and sometimes I would even watch the road. One time Tye accidentally got icy hot all over her face and it started to burn, so me being the natural care taker that I am, I rolled down the window and she stuck her face out as I did doughnuts in the parking lot.

We were two peas in a pod. Soon enough we started hanging out on the weekends and at family parties. We bonded on things like high school musical, the Lizzie Mcguire movie and Jesse McCartney. We would go bowling almost every weekend and I have to admit,

                                                        We were really good.

Today is her 23rd birthday. Tye has always felt like a younger sister to me, a younger sister that does not have the same tanning capabilities that I have but still a younger sister. I believe I age twice as fast as she does because I can't believe she is only 23. Either she is really mature for her age or I'm really immature for my age. I'm pretty sure we all know the obvious answer.

I'm so blessed to have her in my life. I know we will be the old ladies in the old folks home that is tp-ing other people's rooms or the two that cheat at bingo. I'm really lucky to have her as a friend.

Happy Birthday Tyeler. I love you 

Oh and her mom eventually stopped paying me.

Welcome to Hollywood.

Sorry I have not posted any new blogs, I wish I could say it's because I've been busy. So a few posts back I was talking about my Hollywood debut on KOFY's dance party. The show finally aired at the end of September and I hope all of you got a chance to see me in action. Unfortunately, my Dad did not get the memo.    

                                                         

Apparently, he also does not know what I look like. Good news is that when it aired I got to see myself pulling out all of my greatest party tricks and by that I mean the air guitar, air drums and the Dougie. If it's one thing I'm good at, it's dancing to whatever song comes my way. In Hollywood circles,  I'm what's referred to as a "Single Threat"

I'm hoping that KOFY will ask me to come back for season 2 or at very least I will make the best of season 1 in the DVD set......I'm sure they will make a dvd set, right?

Well I'm going to leave you with the famous words my friend Usher always tells me, Dance-dance like it's the last-last night of your life-life. 

kids, do not try this air guitar at home.

  

E.T Go Home.

There is one movie that I'm still scared of and that's E.T. I know what you are all going to say "He's so cute" "He's just alien" Yea well, I think he looks creepy. His wide set eyes are too big for his face, he has no legs, his arms are super long, He looks like a 50 year old woman who tanned too much in the sun and don't even get me started on his neck!

I hated that movie growing up. I would have nightmares of that glowing finger, his voice and that awful noise he made when he got scared. The only good thing I have to say about him is he once got drunk and dressed up like a woman.

I can appreciate that but I still hate his extraterrestrial guts. 

A little fun fact about me is I used to not eat sausage 

Because it looked like his fingers.

I once went to universal studios and my friend made me go on the E.T Adventure ride. She knew I hated him and I'm not going to lie, I was 18 years old and I was terrified. Before you go on the ride you give the person at the front your name. I thought that was really weird and already had a bad feeling about this ride. I wish I would have given him a fake name. So after 5 minutes of closing my eyes we came to the end of the ride and there he was and he says "Tiffany.....my friend" 

I think I peed my pants. 

Let's get something straight buddy, we are NOT friends and we will never be friends.

Got that?

Here is a little reminder from my "friend"

Happy Thursday!

Special Birthday Shout Out

Today is a very special day, today is my friend Jen's birthday! yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Above is a picture of Jen and I in Vegas last year for her birthday. I would love to tell you what happened in Vegas but you know what they say. 

Jen and I have been friends for 6 years now. We met under some funny circumstances. Go ahead and ask us the next time you see us, we love telling the story! ha ha So 4 years ago for her birthday I decided to fly out to Long beach to surprise her. I came up with this master plan to be at the bar I knew she was going to be at that night. Creepy right? So I go and sit at the bar. Then I have someone bring over a beer to her and say "That lady over there bought you a drink" She takes the drink, says thanks and then looks over and says "That girl looks like Tiff...." Thinks about it a little longer then finally realized it wasn't a stranger who just happened to look just like me. It was the cutest reaction of all time! 

Every year for Jen's birthday we have this ritual that we go out for some crazy fun then the next day we literally see how many movies we can watch from the couch all day long. FYI our record is 6 so far. Her mom makes us the best egg Mcmuffin sandwiches ever! After the movie marathon the MTV VMAs are usually on but for some reason MTV decided to do it 3 weeks early and totally ruined our lazy day. Way to go MTV, don't worry I wrote them a letter!

I could go on and on with stories but bottom line is wherever we are this girl and I know how to have fun!

That's us taking over the band at the HUT!

(ahhhhh the good old hut)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN!!!!! 

I miss you and I love you!

See you soon.

Boop.

At Your Leisure

Have you ever heard of leisure diving? If not, we're probably not friends.


Leisure diving: involves striking a relaxed pose midair while jumping into a body of water


So this past Labor day weekend I decided to throw a pool party. At first it was super casual, drinking beer, chips, salsa, french onion dip and maybe a dive or a cannon ball or two. Then things picked up quickly when we found my old costume box. Here is the Leisure Dive Master Curtis ready to take a dive...

Wait a second... I've seen this guy before

Yup, Nailed it.

Next up was this ginger. I'm not sure who this is but I'm pretty sure I didn't invite them to the party.

Who knew Sally Jesse Raphael could jump so high?

Up next from across the border was Crystal

I just know I've seen that face somewhere.......

Oh that's right. 

Then it was time for a much needed "shotgun a beer" break. If you ever want to find out who your real friends are just ask "Ok, who wants to shotgun a beer?"

I guess that means I don't have many friends.

Even though I may not be the best at chugging beer I do try my best and in some cases try to get away with things.

like pouring it down the drain. BUSTED! 

Then it was back to diving. Curtis was up next and decided he was going to sit down, take and break and catch up on all the latest celebrity gossip in US magazine. 

Any good gossip?

 Nope, BAD NEWS......all bad news.

I know she had a few beers but I didn't think Crystal was ready for bed at 5 o'clock at night?

I guess that meant the party was over. 

Time for bed!!!!

Don't you just love sleepovers with your friends?

Happy Friday! 

Have a great weekend!

Lovely Nail....Just one.

If you know me well you know that I am obsessed with nail polish! It might even be an unhealthy obsession. If there was an actual job for someone to pick out a color for you, I would be that person. I once was at the grocery store and these two girls were in front of me, one of them told the other "I love your nail polish, what color is it?" and before she could answer I said "Miami beet" They both turned around and said "YAH! how did you know?" and I couldn't even answer them. I just walked away with my head down.

If there was a game show called "Name that polish" I would be undefeated. OPI, ESSIE and summer CHINA GLAZE colors are my favorites. Its so much fun to get your nails done!!! I love getting asked questions like "You have boyfriend?" "You go to party?" or my personal favorite "I like your jean, are those jean number seven?"

You can almost guarantee I will have a new color on my nails every week. I recently went to Europe and saw a new nail trend and decided to try it out with some of my favorite summer colors. I'm all for nail trends, shatter, shellac and minx. Pretty much anything without sparkles! This particular pair of colors are my favorite because they are super trendy casual by day.....

and Party Rocking at night!!!!

Happy Thursday!!!!!

Your Move Toddlers and Tiaras

After reading my last blog my mom informed me that my other favorite great parenting show was recently in the news. This show never cease to impress amaze me. Apparently a mother thought it was ok to have her 3 year old daughter compete in a Pretty Woman costume.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Julia Roberts was a prostitute in that movie. A prostitute that at one point couldn't even shop on Rodeo Drive. Regardless of the situation she was a hooker. It's a classic movie but I think this woman might have taken things a little too far.

Because of this woman we now have a new word to call inappropriately dressed kids: Prostitots

But Mom, I don't wanna dance!

This past Monday I got stuck watching a marathon of Lifetimes new hit show Dance Moms. Since Lifetime brings me Will and Grace, Reba and lets not forget those amazing Lifetime movies, I thought I would give this show a try.

This show did not let me down what so ever. These moms are a nightmare! Spending 40+ hours at the studio every week. First of all here is the owner and dance instructor Miss Abby Lee

You're joking. 

So this is the woman who take kids from ages 6-10 to the top!??! I questioned her up until I heard the woman talk. She doesn't take crap from anybody and she honestly knows what she is doing even though that might mean taking away a childhood to create a star. It worked out for Britney Spears right? ummmm Never mind.

So here are some of the Little dancing nuggets.

Meet Maddie (8 years old)

She's Abby's Favorite and everyone knows it. She wins 1st place at every competition. Ok, This girl needs to get beat up. She is good and she knows it and can be a huge brat. What makes things even worse is her mom knows she's the best too.

Meet Chloe (9 years old)

Now Chloe is a really great dancer (sometimes better than Maddie) but lives in Maddie's shadow and it's a shame because she is a super sweet girl. Her mother on the other hand is a stage 5 psycho. She once drank a bottle of wine during a dance competition. Normally I would encourage that sort of behavior but since she was drunk and crazy she ended up yelling at all the moms and making the kids cry.

No Bueno.

Now here is my favorite little nugget!!!

Meet Mackenzie (6 years old) This is Maddie's younger sister. Not only is she a good dancer, she's cute as a button. A rhinestone button of course.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from her:

Yeah Mackenzie, You retire. Stay home. Eat those chips!

This show is really shocking sometimes. I forget that these girls are only ages 6-9 and they're already in their prime of their career! I'm not sure about you guys but I think with costumes like these

 I do see a big future for them.

Still dancing Obviously.

Happy Wednesday!