A very special day

Today is January 31st and I'm not sure if you are all aware of this fabulous holiday but it just so happens to be Justin Timberlakes birthday! Justin and I have been in a pretty serious partnership for about 10 years now. Ever since I've spotted his curly bleach blonde top ramen hair on a disney special concert. Sure we've had our ups and downs but he hold a very special place in my closet.......hanging as a poster. Fact: He wrote "like I love you" about me. False: he wrote "cry me a river" about me. Well Justin Happy birthday to you pumpkin tits... Keep tearin' up my heart

Tiff hears a WHAAAAT?!

So last night I watched Horton hears a who! It's a great movie. If you have not seen it basically it's about Horton the elephant who struggles to protect this microscopic community. Inside this tiny speck of dust is the fabulous city of Whoville. Crazy, I know. I was so overwhelmed by the whole concept. So as soon as I woke up this morning I immediately ran outside and grabbed the first flower in sight. I looked and listened carefully.

Nothing.

Let's just say I was a little upset. I remember after I saw "The little mermaid" I swore mermaids exist. Mermaids are the Gypsies of the sea. They have to exist! I haven't been this disappointed since I didn't get a Hover board for Christmas 1989. So anyway, it's a great movie. Watch the movie and watch your step. You might step on a whole other world!

The end of Tanning Fraud

Finally....a solution. Obama was right, we would have change and I realized that yesterday when I went to my tanning salon. I walked in for my weekly 12 minute nap and the girl at the front asked for my first and last name. Her face gets serious and explains they have this new system to prevent people from stealing tans from your tanning package. I didn't realize there was other Tiffany Vargas' out there trying to steal my UVs! Obviously it had to stop. So I had to press my thumb 4 times against this red pad. Which can only be described as a grocery store scanner. At this point I'm not sure which is worse, the tanning my skin or me having to press my thumb against these lasers. I immediately started to think of every possible situation that could go wrong, WHAT IF I cut my thumb?! What if someone tries to cut off my thumb in this whole master plan to steal my tans?!?! I didn't realize that tanning fraud was such a serious problem in the US and because of that now every time I go into the tanning salon I have to stand there and get finger printed like tan line free criminal!

Hi mom.

Well Hello. So today is the day I decided I would blog about my "so called life" I figured my life is a joke so I might as well make people laugh with me. I'm not sure if anyone will read these besides my Mom and if so, Hi mom! I guess this a good way to let people know what I'm up to and also a pretty good way to nail a book deal since youtube is just way too competitive. I'm a pretty sarcastic person. The only time I am serious is when I am sleeping. I will probably write a lot about my life which includes doing hair, watching game show network, Drinking wine and hanging out with my cats. Exciting huh? 

You think you know but you have no idea.....