My longest relationship

The year was 2002, I was just about to enter in my senior year of High school. I was going to rule the school. It was the first team dinner/meeting at fresh choice. This really cute mom comes up to me and says

"So Tiffany, I was looking at the team roaster sheet and I noticed that you live close to me. Do you think you can drive my daughter home after all the practices?"

"um maybe? whose your daughter?"

"That red head over there"

"well I don't know if i can..."

"I'll pay you"

"Perfect"

So that's how our friendship started, as a business. Week after week I would drive her home and each car ride was better than the one before. We would laugh at things that happened that day on team, sing our hearts out to angry Lincoln Park songs, danced, put on makeup and sometimes I would even watch the road. One time Tye accidentally got icy hot all over her face and it started to burn, so me being the natural care taker that I am, I rolled down the window and she stuck her face out as I did doughnuts in the parking lot.

We were two peas in a pod. Soon enough we started hanging out on the weekends and at family parties. We bonded on things like high school musical, the Lizzie Mcguire movie and Jesse McCartney. We would go bowling almost every weekend and I have to admit,

                                                        We were really good.

Today is her 23rd birthday. Tye has always felt like a younger sister to me, a younger sister that does not have the same tanning capabilities that I have but still a younger sister. I believe I age twice as fast as she does because I can't believe she is only 23. Either she is really mature for her age or I'm really immature for my age. I'm pretty sure we all know the obvious answer.

I'm so blessed to have her in my life. I know we will be the old ladies in the old folks home that is tp-ing other people's rooms or the two that cheat at bingo. I'm really lucky to have her as a friend.

Happy Birthday Tyeler. I love you 

Oh and her mom eventually stopped paying me.

Welcome to Hollywood.

Sorry I have not posted any new blogs, I wish I could say it's because I've been busy. So a few posts back I was talking about my Hollywood debut on KOFY's dance party. The show finally aired at the end of September and I hope all of you got a chance to see me in action. Unfortunately, my Dad did not get the memo.    

                                                         

Apparently, he also does not know what I look like. Good news is that when it aired I got to see myself pulling out all of my greatest party tricks and by that I mean the air guitar, air drums and the Dougie. If it's one thing I'm good at, it's dancing to whatever song comes my way. In Hollywood circles,  I'm what's referred to as a "Single Threat"

I'm hoping that KOFY will ask me to come back for season 2 or at very least I will make the best of season 1 in the DVD set......I'm sure they will make a dvd set, right?

Well I'm going to leave you with the famous words my friend Usher always tells me, Dance-dance like it's the last-last night of your life-life. 

kids, do not try this air guitar at home.

  

E.T Go Home.

There is one movie that I'm still scared of and that's E.T. I know what you are all going to say "He's so cute" "He's just alien" Yea well, I think he looks creepy. His wide set eyes are too big for his face, he has no legs, his arms are super long, He looks like a 50 year old woman who tanned too much in the sun and don't even get me started on his neck!

I hated that movie growing up. I would have nightmares of that glowing finger, his voice and that awful noise he made when he got scared. The only good thing I have to say about him is he once got drunk and dressed up like a woman.

I can appreciate that but I still hate his extraterrestrial guts. 

A little fun fact about me is I used to not eat sausage 

Because it looked like his fingers.

I once went to universal studios and my friend made me go on the E.T Adventure ride. She knew I hated him and I'm not going to lie, I was 18 years old and I was terrified. Before you go on the ride you give the person at the front your name. I thought that was really weird and already had a bad feeling about this ride. I wish I would have given him a fake name. So after 5 minutes of closing my eyes we came to the end of the ride and there he was and he says "Tiffany.....my friend" 

I think I peed my pants. 

Let's get something straight buddy, we are NOT friends and we will never be friends.

Got that?

Here is a little reminder from my "friend"

Happy Thursday!

Special Birthday Shout Out

Today is a very special day, today is my friend Jen's birthday! yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Above is a picture of Jen and I in Vegas last year for her birthday. I would love to tell you what happened in Vegas but you know what they say. 

Jen and I have been friends for 6 years now. We met under some funny circumstances. Go ahead and ask us the next time you see us, we love telling the story! ha ha So 4 years ago for her birthday I decided to fly out to Long beach to surprise her. I came up with this master plan to be at the bar I knew she was going to be at that night. Creepy right? So I go and sit at the bar. Then I have someone bring over a beer to her and say "That lady over there bought you a drink" She takes the drink, says thanks and then looks over and says "That girl looks like Tiff...." Thinks about it a little longer then finally realized it wasn't a stranger who just happened to look just like me. It was the cutest reaction of all time! 

Every year for Jen's birthday we have this ritual that we go out for some crazy fun then the next day we literally see how many movies we can watch from the couch all day long. FYI our record is 6 so far. Her mom makes us the best egg Mcmuffin sandwiches ever! After the movie marathon the MTV VMAs are usually on but for some reason MTV decided to do it 3 weeks early and totally ruined our lazy day. Way to go MTV, don't worry I wrote them a letter!

I could go on and on with stories but bottom line is wherever we are this girl and I know how to have fun!

That's us taking over the band at the HUT!

(ahhhhh the good old hut)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN!!!!! 

I miss you and I love you!

See you soon.

Boop.

At Your Leisure

Have you ever heard of leisure diving? If not, we're probably not friends.


Leisure diving: involves striking a relaxed pose midair while jumping into a body of water


So this past Labor day weekend I decided to throw a pool party. At first it was super casual, drinking beer, chips, salsa, french onion dip and maybe a dive or a cannon ball or two. Then things picked up quickly when we found my old costume box. Here is the Leisure Dive Master Curtis ready to take a dive...

Wait a second... I've seen this guy before

Yup, Nailed it.

Next up was this ginger. I'm not sure who this is but I'm pretty sure I didn't invite them to the party.

Who knew Sally Jesse Raphael could jump so high?

Up next from across the border was Crystal

I just know I've seen that face somewhere.......

Oh that's right. 

Then it was time for a much needed "shotgun a beer" break. If you ever want to find out who your real friends are just ask "Ok, who wants to shotgun a beer?"

I guess that means I don't have many friends.

Even though I may not be the best at chugging beer I do try my best and in some cases try to get away with things.

like pouring it down the drain. BUSTED! 

Then it was back to diving. Curtis was up next and decided he was going to sit down, take and break and catch up on all the latest celebrity gossip in US magazine. 

Any good gossip?

 Nope, BAD NEWS......all bad news.

I know she had a few beers but I didn't think Crystal was ready for bed at 5 o'clock at night?

I guess that meant the party was over. 

Time for bed!!!!

Don't you just love sleepovers with your friends?

Happy Friday! 

Have a great weekend!

Lovely Nail....Just one.

If you know me well you know that I am obsessed with nail polish! It might even be an unhealthy obsession. If there was an actual job for someone to pick out a color for you, I would be that person. I once was at the grocery store and these two girls were in front of me, one of them told the other "I love your nail polish, what color is it?" and before she could answer I said "Miami beet" They both turned around and said "YAH! how did you know?" and I couldn't even answer them. I just walked away with my head down.

If there was a game show called "Name that polish" I would be undefeated. OPI, ESSIE and summer CHINA GLAZE colors are my favorites. Its so much fun to get your nails done!!! I love getting asked questions like "You have boyfriend?" "You go to party?" or my personal favorite "I like your jean, are those jean number seven?"

You can almost guarantee I will have a new color on my nails every week. I recently went to Europe and saw a new nail trend and decided to try it out with some of my favorite summer colors. I'm all for nail trends, shatter, shellac and minx. Pretty much anything without sparkles! This particular pair of colors are my favorite because they are super trendy casual by day.....

and Party Rocking at night!!!!

Happy Thursday!!!!!

Your Move Toddlers and Tiaras

After reading my last blog my mom informed me that my other favorite great parenting show was recently in the news. This show never cease to impress amaze me. Apparently a mother thought it was ok to have her 3 year old daughter compete in a Pretty Woman costume.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Julia Roberts was a prostitute in that movie. A prostitute that at one point couldn't even shop on Rodeo Drive. Regardless of the situation she was a hooker. It's a classic movie but I think this woman might have taken things a little too far.

Because of this woman we now have a new word to call inappropriately dressed kids: Prostitots

But Mom, I don't wanna dance!

This past Monday I got stuck watching a marathon of Lifetimes new hit show Dance Moms. Since Lifetime brings me Will and Grace, Reba and lets not forget those amazing Lifetime movies, I thought I would give this show a try.

This show did not let me down what so ever. These moms are a nightmare! Spending 40+ hours at the studio every week. First of all here is the owner and dance instructor Miss Abby Lee

You're joking. 

So this is the woman who take kids from ages 6-10 to the top!??! I questioned her up until I heard the woman talk. She doesn't take crap from anybody and she honestly knows what she is doing even though that might mean taking away a childhood to create a star. It worked out for Britney Spears right? ummmm Never mind.

So here are some of the Little dancing nuggets.

Meet Maddie (8 years old)

She's Abby's Favorite and everyone knows it. She wins 1st place at every competition. Ok, This girl needs to get beat up. She is good and she knows it and can be a huge brat. What makes things even worse is her mom knows she's the best too.

Meet Chloe (9 years old)

Now Chloe is a really great dancer (sometimes better than Maddie) but lives in Maddie's shadow and it's a shame because she is a super sweet girl. Her mother on the other hand is a stage 5 psycho. She once drank a bottle of wine during a dance competition. Normally I would encourage that sort of behavior but since she was drunk and crazy she ended up yelling at all the moms and making the kids cry.

No Bueno.

Now here is my favorite little nugget!!!

Meet Mackenzie (6 years old) This is Maddie's younger sister. Not only is she a good dancer, she's cute as a button. A rhinestone button of course.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from her:

Yeah Mackenzie, You retire. Stay home. Eat those chips!

This show is really shocking sometimes. I forget that these girls are only ages 6-9 and they're already in their prime of their career! I'm not sure about you guys but I think with costumes like these

 I do see a big future for them.

Still dancing Obviously.

Happy Wednesday!

Welcome to Hollywood

I finally got my break into Hollywood, well sort of. This past Saturday I celebrated my friend Sarah's birthday. She invited me to join her at KOFY dance party taping. I didn't know what to expect but naturally I was in. We dressed up in one of our best 80s outfits which sadly came from our closets. Then we made our way over to the KOFY studios in San Fransisco.  There was a line with a bunch of crazy people. It looked like bay to breakers, I immediately got super excited.

After I signed my life away, as if anything bad could happen from dancing. Actually I take that back. I have a friend, I wont name any names but he actually got kicked out of a bar for "Dancing too hard" True story.

So we got in line and stretched. Here is Sarah whippin' her crimped hair back and forth.

Here are some overly friendly people we met in line.

Then they had us in a wait room.

We couldn't be anymore excited and yes that is a fanny pack.

I realized that I want fanny packs to make a comeback now more than ever.

So easy to dance with all of your belongings on you.

Then it was the moment we all waited for...

It was better than I've ever imaged!!!!!!

"Is this real life"

It was honestly so much fun. We danced to 80s music for 2 hours with only 2 breaks. Hollywood is so tough. I won't give away any details about the show but you all can see for yourself September 25th at 8pm on KOFY! You think I'm joking but I'm not. 

Later that night we got ready to take a limo back out to the city. 

So Hollywood.

Happy Wednesday!

Ps. The next taping of Dance party is September 10th. Whose in??

You can't dance as if no one is watching because people are watching.

So Last night I decided to come out of retirement and go back to dance. I haven't danced in over 7 years! I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous. No one likes to be the old person who falls on their ass! I thought i would never dance again but every time I watch Jessica Alba in Honey I get the itch to dance. Then it dawned on me, if I ever wanted to partake in a dance battle and have a chance of winning I needed to go back to dance class.

So there I was in the building that I took my first class ever 22 years ago. Back then you didn't even have to learn a dance routine, you would just stand on the stage, smile and wave to your mom during the song Animal Crackers. The crowd loved it. When I walked into the dance room I suddenly realized all the young kids around me and it was nice that I immediately put things in perspective, the last time I danced on that dance floor NONE of these people were even born yet....including the teacher. Awesome! Hello Dinosaur.

To my surprise it actually went ok. I'm a little rusty but in a couple of months i feel like I will be back! Good news is today I woke up and I can walk. I guess that is a sign that I am ready to drop it like its hot just like Jessica Alba.

Hopefully I will keep up with the dance classes because I hope someday I will be as good as these gems.

Little Creepy but how cute are these ladies? Work it (golden) Girls!! Work that pole nana!

Happy Hump day!

The 3rd of July

Have you ever forgotten what day it was? Celebrated something one day early? I can honestly say I've done that! I decided to have a small BBQ pool party at my house with 3 of my friends and one dog. How crazy could it get? I guess after you shotgun a beer anything is possible. This is how the day started out.

Nice calm summer day on cuddle Island with J Biebe.

Then the creative juices started flowing and when I say juice I mean beer. Here are some classic Pool jump photos.

Bre and Crystal doing the Best Buddy Jump Photo.

I've posted many photos of my friend Crystal showing off some of her amazing jump photo talents but I'm sure we can all agree that this photo by far is the one that takes the cake. I present to you....

The Beer Flip!

Yes she is really drinking a beer.

(Kids do not try this at home...unless you're fun)

I had no idea that my street was having a 4th of July block party. Apparently they celebrated it on the wrong day also. We decided to walk down and join in on the fun. I guess my neighbors decided to rent the coolest water slide for all of the little kids. Obviously we asked if we can go on it, all of the dads said yes. All of the moms were not so thrilled.

That gave us the great idea to make a homemade water slide. So first we tried to use garbage bags.

But that was not dog proof.

Then we decided to use a blue tarp.

That worked but at the time I didn't realize Crystal was right behind me....

coming in hot!!!!!

Major water slide Fail.

I think next year we will pay the $200 for an actual blow up water slide. I blame my mother for all of this because she never bought me the crocodile mile that I've always wanted.

This might have been one of the best days of the summer. Who knew that these four girls could get into so much trouble?

They are such gems.

I can't wait for the next 3rd of July because the 4th is way too overrated.

God bless America.